We all know the routine of growing up. You get married, buy a home, and then have kids. The American dream, right? These past few years have been a whirlwind of weddings and new mommy’s. It’s all good and happy, but at the same time a little overwhelming.

I just turned 34 and I know I’m not getting any younger. But having kids right now just isn’t on my to do list. Since the year of our wedding and buying our first home, my husband and I have had it a little rough. Life has thrown us a handful of obstacles and it seems we are always fighting to get by. I started Gray Star Design in hopes to finally be successful on my end, while he works for less money than he deserves. The hardships of being an artist. So I would say, this is not a time to bring a child into the world. I mean, we don’t even have health insurance.

Growing up with a single mom who worked numerous jobs and having a Grandmother who raised four kids on nothing, I understand what it means to struggle. I, too, have struggled all my life financially. Being stressed for all these years about the one thing I don’t care about has surely taken its toll. Sadly, you need it to survive and all I know is the feeling of getting by. I certainly don’t want to raise a child in that kind of atmosphere, they deserve more than what I had. I am crossing my fingers that one day my husband and I can live a comfortable life without always dealing with financial stress. Then maybe, we can start a family.

So, with all these new babies and little kids running around, it does put a little pressure on me to have a child of our own. However, I am smart enough to know what is good for me, and my marriage and career is my focus at the moment. Just not ready to make my life all about someone else yet. And I know it doesn’t end when you have a baby, but in reality, it sort of does. It’s closing a chapter and starting a new one. I just have too much I still need to do.

Right now, I will embrace the little munchkins in my life and give them tons of love. I am lucky to have friends and family who have healthy children and I am very happy for the new chapter they have started. I wish them all the best on their journey as parents and will be there every step of the way to support them. Besides, I already have two furry kids of my own to take care of. They may not be the real thing, but they are mine and I love them with all my heart. It may be babies galore on the other side of rainbow but here on my side, the possibilities are endless.