Inspiration Photo Friday: Experience

30 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by melissaoconnor in Inspiration Photo Friday

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bob marley, happiness, Inspiration, journey, life, marriage, suffering, true love, truth, vows, wedding

The other day I came across a quote shared from the one and only Bob Marley. It resonated with me a great deal because its the truth. Not only did I totally agree with his words, felt it had a true connection to my life. These are the words of wisdom:

“If she is amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy… Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for”. ~ Bob Marley

Some may read this and say, true love doesn’t involve suffering or getting hurt and it shouldn’t be too hard. Well, you are wrong. Life is not a fairytale and neither is love. No relationship is easy. When I look back on just the few relationships in my life where I was actually in love with the person, they were all challenging. And some were even crazy at times. Sure, you will love a lot of people in your lifetime, and of course I have, but the few that were monumental are the ones that greatly contributed to who you are today. They are the ones which helped you grow and evolve as a person as well as helping you to learn what you need and want in a relationship.

I can say for sure that I’ve never been easy. It’s not that I am a difficult person to be with, I just have a multi faceted personality and bring a lot to the table. There were times where the person I was with never gave up on our love, as did I, and others where ending it was the right choice. And sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that you can be in love with someone but you are not meant to be together. It happens all the time and I know first hand how it feels. And Marley knows what he is talking about when he says everyone hurts you, because its true. It’s all a matter of who is worth suffering for and how much you can take. It’s a testament of patience, loyalty, and love – to know if the one you are with is worth all the hard work.

It all comes down to experience and learning through growth. I have had many challenges thrown at me, in all aspects of my life. And since a child, I was always curious to see and taste the world around me. Because of this I’ve experienced a lot, like many other people. Sharing what I have been through with others has always been something I felt obligated to do. For it’s only the ones who have overcome that can inspire and help others.

As far as love, I believe we can never know if we were meant to be with someone forever, because people eventually change and everything always comes to an end. But I do know that who we choose to be with, prove to be the right ones over time. You simply can’t know in a month or a year, if it will truly last. But after you’ve both lived life together and taken on challenges as a team, your experience will speak volumes.

My husband Dan and I have been together for 5 years and married a little over a year. We have been through a great deal together since we met back in the summer of 2008. I’ve never dreamed of getting married like many other girls. My success as an artist was always number one. But when I shared my vows with Dan on our wedding day, I was honest and true with every word. Below is a photo of our vows along with my bouquet, which I preserved. I treasure these very much because they are a testament to our relationship and the start of a new chapter of our lives together.

Neither of us has given up on each other and I feel we have both suffered enough in this relationship, as Marley states, for it to last years to come. All I can say for sure is that our connection will grow with each day and our love shall keep us strong. I believe we have created a foundation that will guide us when we are lost and provide comfort when we need it. For true love has no boundaries. And when you realize the true worth of that love, happiness overcomes the suffering.

bouquet1

Inspiration Photo Friday: A Little at a Time

23 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by melissaoconnor in Inspiration Photo Friday

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diy, gray, hardwood floors, home improvement, interior design, painting, renovation, restore

My husband and I are are still doing small improvements throughout our house. And even though there is always something that needs to be done, a lot of the main projects have been finalized, which is awesome. We have worked so hard making this house a home and I love it more and more each day.

Recently, we tackled the small hallway on our second floor. The original hardwood floors were not taken care of. Besides the horrible color the previous owners stained them with, they were in bad shape. I’ve had to keep small rugs down since we’ve been here to cover the area because if you walked by barefoot, splinters are definitely a sure thing. It’s been bothering me for over a year and I had enough. It was time to get this project checked off the list.

It was a little bit of a process, like everything else is, but within a week we finished it. It took Dan 2 days to sand when he was done, I took over. Our original plan was to stain it over, but after I thought about it I decided to paint it gray like the stairwell. It just made more sense. So after 2 coats of paint and a layer of polyurethane, the floor was done. I also cleaned up the molding and repainted that as well so it all looked fresh. We are both so happy with the results.

Buying a house is a huge accomplishment. What’s an even bigger accomplishment is renovating it yourself and making it yours. It’s much easier to purchase a property and keep it as is, but what’s so fun about that? My husband and I take so much pride in all the work we put into our home and with every project we finish, it seems to love us more. And even though I am one to get things done asap, I have learned to relax a bit when it comes to stuff like this. Doing a little at a time, will pay off. It can’t all get done in one day!

Below is the before and after of our floor. I am so excited to finally have it done. Doing small projects like this on a regular basis keep you in a steady groove and help you realize that when things are done a little at a time, you can appreciate them so much more. Overloading yourself with a million things to do just isn’t worth the stress. Pace yourself and enjoy every moment because its not just the final results that are gratifying, its the process and journey you’ve taken to get there.

Inspiration Photo Friday: A Little at a Time

Inspiration Photo Friday: Babies Galore

16 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by melissaoconnor in Inspiration Photo Friday

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american dream, baby, chapter, children, journey, kids, life, mommy to be, stress

We all know the routine of growing up. You get married, buy a home, and then have kids. The American dream, right? These past few years have been a whirlwind of weddings and new mommy’s. It’s all good and happy, but at the same time a little overwhelming.

I just turned 34 and I know I’m not getting any younger. But having kids right now just isn’t on my to do list. Since the year of our wedding and buying our first home, my husband and I have had it a little rough. Life has thrown us a handful of obstacles and it seems we are always fighting to get by. I started Gray Star Design in hopes to finally be successful on my end, while he works for less money than he deserves. The hardships of being an artist. So I would say, this is not a time to bring a child into the world. I mean, we don’t even have health insurance.

Growing up with a single mom who worked numerous jobs and having a Grandmother who raised four kids on nothing, I understand what it means to struggle. I, too, have struggled all my life financially. Being stressed for all these years about the one thing I don’t care about has surely taken its toll. Sadly, you need it to survive and all I know is the feeling of getting by. I certainly don’t want to raise a child in that kind of atmosphere, they deserve more than what I had. I am crossing my fingers that one day my husband and I can live a comfortable life without always dealing with financial stress. Then maybe, we can start a family.

So, with all these new babies and little kids running around, it does put a little pressure on me to have a child of our own. However, I am smart enough to know what is good for me, and my marriage and career is my focus at the moment. Just not ready to make my life all about someone else yet. And I know it doesn’t end when you have a baby, but in reality, it sort of does. It’s closing a chapter and starting a new one. I just have too much I still need to do.

Right now, I will embrace the little munchkins in my life and give them tons of love. I am lucky to have friends and family who have healthy children and I am very happy for the new chapter they have started. I wish them all the best on their journey as parents and will be there every step of the way to support them. Besides, I already have two furry kids of my own to take care of. They may not be the real thing, but they are mine and I love them with all my heart. It may be babies galore on the other side of rainbow but here on my side, the possibilities are endless.

Inspiration Photo Friday: Patterns

09 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by melissaoconnor in Inspiration Photo Friday

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art, bigger picture, blindness, design, emotion, equation, evolution, evolve, growth, heart, life, love, math, mind, numbers, patterns, realization, relationships, self portraits, strength

I believe everything is some sort of equation. Numbers are the building blocks of everything even though we don’t see them. Change is inevitable and growth is essential. We live our lives chasing love, working hard, creating memories, and doing our best to stay afloat when things come crumbling down. Among all this we cause patterns.

Some patterns are good but most just hurt you in the end. It’s tricky because you find yourself acting a certain way or reliving the same moments and it wakes you up. Having the ability to see these patterns shows you are intuitive to your well being. Actually doing something about it and changing for the better proves you are strong willed and ready to evolve. When nothing is seen or done, the same pattern repeats. You could go through various jobs, be in a number of relationships, have moved to different locations…but those patterns are still there. They are something you cannot escape until you are ready to truly grow.

I have undergone therapeutic realizations in my life, many times. Most of these were in my twenties and some even younger. I saw the patterns in my life that weren’t healthy and certainly not doing me any good. Some of them had to do with how I saw myself but most were happening in relationships. I think its interesting how you notice so much more of yourself through other people and the relationships you have with them. It’s truly eye opening.

About 7 years ago I had enough of it. I was in my last year of art school and found myself analyzing who I was, inside and out. I explored this a lot through my writing and artwork as well as through numerous series of self portraits. My BFA show even revolved around my life experiences and how I dealt with them. Even though I will always remember time spent with people I was with in the past, I really didn’t gain or learn anything from some of them beyond this eye opening realization. It has has shown me to lead life with my mind and not to get lost in the fantasy of emotion when it has no foundation. Unfortunately, something that seems beautiful and out of this world, can eventually show its dark side.

So, I’ve taken this lesson and applied it to pretty much everything in my life. Considering myself first, above all, helped me work toward my dreams and hold on to the confidence I deserve. Only then could I give a true part of my heart to what I admired. I stopped my patterns in their tracks and moved on to the next phase. Everything is just so much clearer when you see the bigger picture and when you break those ties that bind you, the bigger picture is so much more than you could’ve imagined.

This self portrait was taken during the late summer of 2006 when I still lived in Jersey. I love the look on my face because its just so true to how I was feeling and encompasses everything I was going through within those few years. And just like the mirror states, I was closer than I thought. Slowly going down the path that would eventually show me the light. Soon I wouldn’t feel the need to cover myself with emotional blindness and my mind would crack the code.